David's* Story
I was introduced to pokie machines at eighteen by mates. At first, I had little interest – but it wasn’t long before I saw a few wins and felt the excitement.
The sounds. The lights. And seemingly free money.
Before I knew it, I was hooked.
I went from spending a small amount of each pay on machines, to blowing my entire monthly income without even noticing the transition. And I wasn’t alone in this – my friends and I would gamble together. Having a group around me normalised my behaviour, helped me to justify what I was doing and even gave me the excuse I needed to continue. Our lives began to revolve around where to gamble and how to acquire additional funds to maintain our habit.
Things started to shift when my family became aware of my habit. I began lying about what I was doing, minimised the severity of my gambling and did everything I could to hide it from them.
I was ashamed and embarrassed about what I was doing and couldn’t bring myself to have an honest conversation with them.
One of my half-hearted attempts to stop gambling included electing to be banned for a year from Canberra Casino. This only made me travel further afield to feed my gambling and my situation continued to fall downhill.
As defining as the moment that I first played the pokies was the moment that I turned to crime to feed my habit. As my income increased, my gambling increased.
Inevitably, I came unstuck and found myself in prison where I am today and have been for over eight years.
You could be forgiven for thinking that this would remove me from gambling and give me an opportunity to work on my issues. The reality of prison is quite different. From the moment I arrived, gambling was everywhere. From betting on sporting events, to spending hours playing cards for money; gambling is as rife in prison as it is in any casino.
Although I wasn’t gambling my compulsion remained. I wanted to. I itched to. I had to be honest with myself and accept I had to address my gambling addiction.
On whim, I reached out to the ACT Gambling Support Service and found support through counselling provided by people who cared and understood.
It took time, but I no longer feel like gambling has to be a part of my life. I can say with complete sincerity that I don’t think I would have got there on my own. It was a battle that I wasn’t equipped to fight.
My journey isn’t over and I still have an uphill battle to secure my release from prison, but I am confident that when that day comes I have addressed a huge part of my struggles. My journey is extreme, but the theme is common – an addiction to gambling, unwillingness to seek help and dealing with difficult consequences of decisions.
* to protect this individual’s identity he has been given a fictional name.
